The Hardest Christmas so far....

Well I know you probably are tired of hearing about it but it's still hard for me. This is the first Christmas without my dad and as the days are approaching it's getting harder. Even though I know he's in a much better place than I am right now. But it still doesn't justify the way I feel when my boys look at me and say they miss Papaw Dave, and when Kristofer says he wishes he could see him. Those little boys only knew him for a short time I knew him for 29 years of my life, and loved every minute of it. Was he perfect no just a wonderful dad and papaw. I really never get a chance to talk about him because it seems to make all those around me in my family sad. But I love talking about the things that he did and who he was, because it makes me get thru it alot easier. That's who he was a joking person always wanting to make someone smile, he was never sad. So why should his memory be sad, is what I think anyway. Most of you never knew my dad, I wish you could have met him he was an awesome guy.
I remember every Christmas morning he would come up the stairs with the video camera and sing us a song to get us up, of course at the time we didn't like it but I would love for that to happen now. He always got us a gag gift and he always seem to give it us when we had someone over that we would get embarassed with. There was never a dull moment when he was around, he wouldn't let you be sad or even mad he was always doing things to make us laugh.
That's what I miss most about this Christmas, laughter and joking. It seems that everyone else in my family is sad and don't want to even celebrate Christmas this year but as for me, I do I want to keep those memories alive and pass them on to my boys. That is what he would want me to do. So as hard as this Christmas is for me I have to keep on and do what I know he would want me to do . Because I know for a fact that he is n't crying right now he is having Christmas with the best!! Can you imagine that I think that is the best Christmas gift I could have ever recieved this year knowing that he's in heaven and I'll be able to see him again very soon!
After my dad passed away I heard this song and it reminded me of him and what I had to go thru in letting him go. So I thought I would share it with you. Sorry if I keep talking about this but it's really dear to my heart as he will always be.